I gave a graduation speech on Tuesday at my school. It went well, if sweaty. Whoever decided we should have graduation in the middle of the summer, so I have to wear a freakin’ suit in 90° temperatures and 80% humidity, should die a slow, sweaty death.

Welcome to my everyday pain, monkey-suit man!
It’s unnatural, I tells ya!
“Holy crap! I think Mr Cottrell’s having a baby!
His water broke ! ”
“That would explain the wetness and why he passed out…”
Ewwwwww.