First, apologies that this is so hard to read. It was all done in pencil, and the pencil didn’t scan well. If I keep doing these sketch comics, I’ll do them in pen from now on.
Second, the content…yeah, it’s about grief. I’ve been struggling with grief for a while now (tomorrow’s actual comic gets even more into it. Yay!). Ever since Grandma Betty passed a few years ago, it feels like it’s been just one hit after another. First her, then my paternal grandmother the following February, followed by my paternal grandfather the following June, and then my uncle unexpectedly the following April. And if you’re the sort to include them, both of our cats in that time, too (and I am the sort to include them. Those two little fuzzballs were part of my family, too).
And I’m just…not dealing well with it. After Uncle Randy passed last year, I just stopped writing, recording, or even playing music for four or five months. Couldn’t bring myself to pick up the guitar at all, because it always reminded me of him. I keep having dreams that I’m visiting my grandparents, and they’re telling me that their deaths were all tricks and the dementia was a lie and everyone is just fine, actually. I keep walking down the hall and looking into my sister-in-law’s bedroom, expecting to see the cat sitting on her pile of blankets on the corner of the bed, even though I know for a fact she won’t be there. I still look. Every time.
Like I say in the comic, though, I’m fine with feeling grief. Feeling sad because someone you loved is gone is completely normal and a good thing, actually! I would just like to be able to feel other things, things that are not grief, for even just a few minutes in a day. It’d be a nice change of pace.
Anyway, these sketch comics are just an idea. Sometimes there’s something bouncing around in my head and I need to get it out and on paper so I can go back to perseverating on whatever it is that I’m over-focused on at that moment, but they just don’t feel like a full, normal comic. Maybe I’ll do more of these. Maybe this is a one and done sort of thing. Who knows.
